Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
