Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
