Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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