bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
