I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
