A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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