it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
