five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want to make out with him forever
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
