saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
