physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
