For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
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I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
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