dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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