I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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