And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
