I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
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I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
soo... how was my night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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