When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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