I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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