Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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