that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize