Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
