I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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