I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize