Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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