what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
