put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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