dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
God, I missed his penis.
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