told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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