2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
where am i from again
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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