where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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