i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
