He kissed a someone with a penis
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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