he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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