Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize