I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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