Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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