He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize