U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
