I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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