we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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