How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
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My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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