Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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