i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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