I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
