Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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