On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
