He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
