she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
