Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
