I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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