3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho