Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50