I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.