I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.