I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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