Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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