Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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