Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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