Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize