i already hear my dad disowning me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
