You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
