They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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